Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Not The End of The World

12/12/12 – Had to write a blog post today if only because of the strange date. If only I had thought about it earlier I should have taken a photo at twelve minutes and twelve seconds past twelve and then it could have been 12:12:12 12/12/12

Enough of this inane numerology, who cares anyway, especially if the world ends as predicted by the Mayans on the 21st . I just hope if Armageddon does occur, that it’s after my works Christmas lunch, otherwise I could have saved myself £30 !

More significantly it’s only fourteen days til the big day itself. Yeah that’s right I said fourteen, I know for the rest of us it’s only thirteen but my other half has a birthday on Boxing Day and boy does she have a chip on her shoulder about it.
There is only one thing worse than getting a combined present and that’s getting a combined card. I did once actually buy a Happy Xmas / Birthday combo card for a joke early on in our relationship and I’m still getting pelters for it now.

So while everyone else chills out on Boxing Day and looks forward to doing very little, I will be hearing the same old sob story of how we never do anything special on her birthday, blah blah blah. Either that or I’ll be getting dragged around every single shop in town looking for a bargain in the sales, which will ultimately result in her conclusion that nothing in the sale is what she really wants, followed by another treck round all the shops again looking at the non-sale items. This is why Boxing Day is so called, as couples everywhere end up in a mass brawl usually starting around 2.15pm.

This is only slightly more preferable to full Armageddon.

Anyway, in other news, two of my presents for the kids that were ordered in good time online are now reported as out of stock and unlikely to be delivered until mid January. You can apologise all you like Mr internet based company spokesman, but they are no bloody use to me on the 17th January, so take your order and stuff it where the sun don’t shine. Grrr.

After embarrassing myself with a massive alcohol shopping trip last year, where the checkout girl gave me a direct referral to alcoholics anonymous, I am now opting for a different strategy. Instead of filling my trolley until it exceeds its weight limit, every other day, I am stopping off and picking up a little here and there. This was going great until I realised the same woman on the self service til has taken the security tags of individual bottles of Rum, Whisky and Vodka in the last five days. I can tell she’s now secretly judging me.

Incidentally, I must confess to necking a good chunk of the rum already which is always the danger when turning your kitchen worktop into a bar for the upcoming festive season. Cheers. Eat, drink and be merry !

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