A true life example of how chaos can descend on my existence.
Setting: our small dining kitchen.We are having a relatively peaceful family meal, just prior to my wife having to leave for work. I am left to do the washing up, there are dirty plates, glasses, saucepans everywhere - the place looks like a bombs hit it.
I get ready to start cleaning up and my wife comes in with her jacket on and takes up the remaining work-top space, writing a shopping list for later. At the same time my daughter (who is blessed with "perfect" timing, we suspect on purpose) decides she's going to make a blueberry smoothie. I have a natural instinct for spotting trouble and intervene by shouting at her to be patient and to wait until her mum is out of the way.
However, my daughter proceeds to close the kitchen door, then opens the fridge and takes out the punnet of blueberries anyway. In a split second I realise she has the punnet up-side down and before I can do anything, the blueberries are all over the floor. I instinctively shout "no-body move" like I'm in some cop show and start trying to clear some of the debris before people start standing on them.
Incidentally, these were no ordinary blueberries but Finest Organic, £3.99 per punnet blueberries, that I only bought because my prodigal daughter doesn't eat normal day to day fruit, like apples or bananas. In fact the blueberries were the cheaper option compared to her other choice of cherries. I mean have you seen the price of cherries lately? .....Sorry, I digress.
Anyway;- My wife, (who's running late by this time) is becoming increasingly annoyed at being held up and like some twist of fate, my son tries to enter the kitchen at the same time. Of course we shout at him not to come in, and he over-reacts and starts having a meltdown in the hall.
I clear up most of the blueberries and my wife escapes out the door and heads off to work. By this time my daughter has the blender and ice cream out and then asks me for a yoghurt. I go to the fridge and realise the yoghurts are at the back, underneath a boxed pizza, which also has yesterdays roast beef and a left-over slice of cheesecake balanced on it.
I manage to find a corner of the table free to place these items on, while I get the yoghurt out for her. Meanwhile my son, who has came out of his meltdown asks me for ice-cream. I snap at him that I have my hands full and as I turn around quickly to put the cheesecake back in the fridge, it slides off the plate and lands upside down on the floor. Arrrrgggghhhhhh ! ****
So now I have to clear up all the dishes, cooking pots, a blender, the remaining bloody expensive organic blueberries, a quarter of a toffee cheesecake which my daughter has just stood on .......and I still have an upset (autistic) 9 year old demanding ice-cream in his special bowl that I can already see is on the worktop beside the sink waiting to be washed.
God, give me strength !